1. Watching "The Bridges of Madison County" too close to your period.
2. The same month your only child starts Kindergarten.
3. While infertile.
4. And drinking a 2006 Trader Joe's Shiraz.
One quote stopped me dead in my Ruffle-dipping tracks.
Meryl Streep's character says, very haltingly:
"Having children in one way ends your life. ...A new life begins that is wonderful. But, YOU are over. Your life becomes about details. ...And YOU stand still. So that everyone else can move around you. And then they leave. ...And they take those details with them. ...And you're supposed to move on. But, you can't remember what moved you. ...Because it's been so long since anyone asked."
It's been so long since anyone asked.
From my keyboard to your heart, no? How often do you feel like if you could only get a MINUTE ALONE, THEN you could figure out what moves you. Then you would know what your plan is. Then you could have a conversation with you again. If you could just step out of the details of family life for a minute to reconnect with YOU.
Meryl Streep portrays a housewife in the 1960's, but the sentiment rings true today. Perhaps even more so. Because there are so many more opportunities available to moms today - so many new ways to feel like you're failing if you don't take them.
I thought about her words "It's been so long since anyone asked". I realized that that is what makes all the difference.
Someone to remind you of who you are and where you're going. Someone to remind you to check in with that quiet place in your heart. Someone to nudge you to keep moving forward.
I'm so lucky that Chris has always been so supportive of whatever it is I want to do. He's the first one cheering me on.
When I wanted to become a mom ten minutes after we married, he said okay.
When I wanted to quit my job, he said do it.
When I wanted to start my own business, he announced it to the world.
When I wanted to go back to school, he was right there.
When I wanted to take on writing gigs, he said go for it.
And when I wanted to raise ferrets, there he was. (I'm kidding. I never raised ferrets, but I could have. See?)
Now, after seven years of marriage and six years of mommying and with the possibility of having another child dancing on the horizon, I'm in the beginning stages of starting up yet another business and without a doubt, I know my reliable husband will be right there by my side every step of the way. Asking all the right questions. Sharing my enthusiasm. Nudging me along.
It's his way of whispering in my ear "What moves you?".
Because without someone asking, we may never be forced to answer.
So, let me be that someone today. What was your passion before you became a mom, a wife?
Is it painting? Acting? Running? Singing? Dancing? Photography? Cooking? Writing? Reading? Your career? Pole dancing?
What moves you?