What do I think this is? Some sort of communist dictatorship where I can promise you lovely people a post and then turn around and produce nada zip zilch the next day? What an evil blog overlord I am. Really, there should be a coup to overthrow me. (I'm easily distracted by shiny things, so you could start there.)
I sheepishly apologize for being so spotty in my posting recently. But! I have a good excuse! Don't tell the people over here who read this blog (I'm never quite sure how many of you are the same readers - 10%? all of you?), but we closed escrow yesterday. Woot! Finally. After six grueling gut-wrenching weeks.
(I know, I know. I sort of kind of inferred that we already closed escrow two weeks ago. But, I am ashamed to admit that I misled you. The truth is, the escrow was unraveling fast and frankly, I was tired of humiliating myself on the internet. A girl can only take so much. So, I'm sure you understand that I just had to put a stop to the discussion before I jumped in front of a train. I promised myself, though, that once there was an ending - good or bad - to the situation, I would tell you the whole sordid story. And I am. Over there.)
Today, though, over here I want to share with you the sorriest excuse for a book accompanied by the most rudimentary of illustrations.
I like to call it "Savannah's Morning", but alternate titles could've been "How To Prevent Mommy From Yelling Obscenities in the Morning" or "Mommy's Effort To Get Organized Because She's Kind Of Lazy" or even "This Book is Really For Mommy Because Once She Turns On the Today Show, She's Mesmerized by Matt Lauer and Forgets To Get Me Ready".
I quickly realized that we would need a manual of sorts for getting ready for school after spending more than a few mornings racing through the house half-dressed, holding a cereal bar, a comb, and a toothbrush while shouting "move! move! move!". All the makings of a relaxing morning, I assure you.
So, late one night I threw this together and can I tell you something? Savannah loves it. She's so encouraging of my parental efforts. I imagine her gazing lovingly upon me sleeping while thinking "she's getting so big". (And I am, by the way. I'm back on The Dip.)
Anyway, without further ado, I present you with "Savannah's Morning".
My kitchen really is that clean.
I am told that those teeth are absolutely terrifying.
I assume this is the car the internet would like me to drive.
While Chris and I had a good laugh over my terrifying illustrative skillz, I have to tell you that Savannah is taking this book very seriously. She even told me last night, "Mommy, I like that book you made me because sometimes I forget what to do next and it makes me angry. And now my mornings are happy".
I hit the genetic jackpot with this child. We were made for each other.
Tomorrow's* Post brought to you by the letter H. For "Horrifying". Because that is the only word to describe what happened to me this morning at Starbucks with some MOPS members. I shall be back.
*And by "tomorrow", of course, I might mean Friday ...or I might mean eight days from now. I'm a free spirit that way.