Whenever I "apologize" for not posting, I inevitably get someone who feels the need to let me know that "It's not like I sit here all day waiting for you to post! I do have a life, you know? I didn't even notice you didn't post. Post, don't post. Whatever."
I always understand when other bloggers apologize for their absence, but apparently this is perceived as pompous by some. Do you feel this way?
So, anyway. When I say sorry for not posting lately just know that I'm mostly talking to my mother and my aunt, who emailed me this last night:
"Are you okay? I'm worried about you. Your blog is the only thing keeping me from a nervous breakdown and YOU HAVEN'T POSTED ALL WEEK!"
So, yeah. I'm not alright. I have some sort of sinus infection that is making me feel like my eyeballs are straining to shoot across the room and I think a mole on my leg is changing.
Also, I haven't watched TV all week and it is making me angsty. I assumed I would become more and more centered as I unplugged from the iNtErWeB and the Tivo and gossip sites. But, instead I realized that I'm pretty unstable and pathetic.
And I ended up crying in the shower yesterday, while Chris stood at the glass trying to soothe me, because "I HAVE NO JOY, CHRIS! I'M NOT EVEN EXCITED ABOUT GOING TO STARBUCKS! SOMETHING IS WRONG WITH ME! I'M SCARED! *sob* ".
I am not even kidding. I actually said "I'm not even excited about Starbucks." And that felt SERIOUS.
I have issues. And obviously, my computer distracts me from that. So, Chris would like me to tell you that he chose to intervene (INTERVENTION!) on my little "Project Be" because if "being" means me crying in the shower that "THIS IS HOW DEPRESSION STARTS, CHRIS! I'M JOYLESS!" then he would rather I stay quietly behind my electronics.
I'm happy to report that I watched some of my favorite Tivo'd shows today and bought my People magazine and it has soothed me back to normal. Diagnosis: Pathetic Media Whore.
All joking aside, I did put quite a dent in the number of hours the TV and laptop are normally on and I think it was for the greater good of my family. Let us see:
Savannah and I danced a lot to music rather than turn on the TV. +1
Savannah learned all the words to "My Humps". -2
We played outside a bit more than normal. +5
Which gave me a chance to develop ass-kicking allergies that have now turned into a raging sinus infection. -6
We had more time to go to the library. +3
This was, in part, due to the relentless collection calls (they're so picky about those due dates. Chill out NAZI LIBRARIANS! Can "The Pokey Puppy" really be worth $45?) -1
My hands were freed up. +2
So, I made cornbread. And do you know what goes well with cornbread? Butter. And do you know what goes well with butter? Honey. And do you know what goes well with honey? Chocolate cake. -3
I was able to finish a great book cover to cover in 3 days. +5
Although, it was about a woman who's killed by her boyfriend, which made me dream that my childhood best friend was trying to strangle me in the produce aisle of Trader Joe's and I wasn't wearing pants. -6
But, I think I could fly. +1
All in all, I would say it was a success. If for no other reason than the look on Savannah's face when she would see me shut my laptop or jump up and dance with her or get out "Connect Four". That made it all worth it. I plan on doing this one week a month going forward - just reveling in my family life and unplugging and relaxing and paying library fines.
Will someone please tell me what the hell happened to Paris Hilton while I was away??
Also, what are you doing this weekend? Seriously. Tell me. I'm nosey like that.