Reunited and It Feels So Gooood

Whenever I "apologize" for not posting, I inevitably get someone who feels the need to let me know that "It's not like I sit here all day waiting for you to post! I do have a life, you know? I didn't even notice you didn't post. Post, don't post. Whatever."

I always understand when other bloggers apologize for their absence, but apparently this is perceived as pompous by some. Do you feel this way?

So, anyway. When I say sorry for not posting lately just know that I'm mostly talking to my mother and my aunt, who emailed me this last night:

"Are you okay? I'm worried about you. Your blog is the only thing keeping me from a nervous breakdown and YOU HAVEN'T POSTED ALL WEEK!"

So, yeah. I'm not alright. I have some sort of sinus infection that is making me feel like my eyeballs are straining to shoot across the room and I think a mole on my leg is changing.

Also, I haven't watched TV all week and it is making me angsty. I assumed I would become more and more centered as I unplugged from the iNtErWeB and the Tivo and gossip sites. But, instead I realized that I'm pretty unstable and pathetic.

And I ended up crying in the shower yesterday, while Chris stood at the glass trying to soothe me, because "I HAVE NO JOY, CHRIS! I'M NOT EVEN EXCITED ABOUT GOING TO STARBUCKS! SOMETHING IS WRONG WITH ME! I'M SCARED! *sob* ".

I am not even kidding. I actually said "I'm not even excited about Starbucks." And that felt SERIOUS.

I have issues. And obviously, my computer distracts me from that. So, Chris would like me to tell you that he chose to intervene (INTERVENTION!) on my little "Project Be" because if "being" means me crying in the shower that "THIS IS HOW DEPRESSION STARTS, CHRIS! I'M JOYLESS!" then he would rather I stay quietly behind my electronics.

I'm happy to report that I watched some of my favorite Tivo'd shows today and bought my People magazine and it has soothed me back to normal. Diagnosis: Pathetic Media Whore.

All joking aside, I did put quite a dent in the number of hours the TV and laptop are normally on and I think it was for the greater good of my family. Let us see:

Savannah and I danced a lot to music rather than turn on the TV. +1

Savannah learned all the words to "My Humps". -2

We played outside a bit more than normal. +5

Which gave me a chance to develop ass-kicking allergies that have now turned into a raging sinus infection. -6

We had more time to go to the library. +3

This was, in part, due to the relentless collection calls (they're so picky about those due dates. Chill out NAZI LIBRARIANS! Can "The Pokey Puppy" really be worth $45?) -1

My hands were freed up. +2

So, I made cornbread. And do you know what goes well with cornbread? Butter. And do you know what goes well with butter? Honey. And do you know what goes well with honey? Chocolate cake. -3

I was able to finish a great book cover to cover in 3 days. +5

Although, it was about a woman who's killed by her boyfriend, which made me dream that my childhood best friend was trying to strangle me in the produce aisle of Trader Joe's and I wasn't wearing pants. -6

But, I think I could fly. +1

All in all, I would say it was a success. If for no other reason than the look on Savannah's face when she would see me shut my laptop or jump up and dance with her or get out "Connect Four". That made it all worth it. I plan on doing this one week a month going forward - just reveling in my family life and unplugging and relaxing and paying library fines.

Now.

Will someone please tell me what the hell happened to Paris Hilton while I was away??

Also, what are you doing this weekend? Seriously. Tell me. I'm nosey like that.

Comments

[Tam]

HA! Finally a post. LOL! Don't apologize for apologizing...I, for one, know what you mean. I'm addicted to humorous blogs and will check back relentlessly until there is a new post. I really need to get a life....glad you're back, but maybe a WHOLE WEEK out of the month is too much (only thinking of your sanity-not my own reading obsession, ya know)...I'd be lucky to go a WHOLE DAY off the computer!

[Tam]

Oh, and I'm working all weekend...every weekend-16 hour shifts Sat and Sun. There. I CAN stay away for 2 days.

[Mommy Lane]

No, I don't think it's pompous to apologize for not blogging. We miss you when you're gone! Glad you're finished with the self-imposed media deficit so you can feel joy in your life once again. I think the once-a-month thing sounds good. Maybe I should try it. Hmmm. This weekend. My daughter's ballet recital is on Sunday, so the fam is driving up to visit. However, I've had to warn them that the fancy ballet recital outfits did not come in and we're "making do" with Old Navy finds. Strange. It'll still be cute, though.

[Kristin]

Sounds like a successful week... sort of. :)

Let's see... I get all my Paris news from Superficial.com I tried to link to it, but I don't know how!)

This weekend I was going to try to be a supermom and take my kids to the International Children's Festival in St.Paul, but it's supposed to rain. Looks like another day of Disney channel and trucks all over my floor.

[Janet a.k.a Wonder Mom]

Well, we are taking Stinkfoot to a Duck race this weekend. Don't ask. I don't know if they're waddling or paddling...I'll tell you when I find out.

[tessa]

We're going to the lake to visit my folks again and drop off Shecky for a month of fun at the lake with the Grandparents. It'll be nice of a day or so... then Imma miss him a LOT... /cry

[emily]

i TOTALLY understand about apologizing for not posting -- my readership is waaaay smaller than yours. i just know that when I go to visit a blog and they haven't updated, it's disappointing. especially when you look forward to reading them (which i'll be uncool enough to admit to) of course i like reading you, or i wouldn't come here!

in any case, this weekend - my niece is getting baptized, so i'm going to that and a family luncheon, and then sunday after church i'll probably touch up the pink in my hair. nothing too exciting. :)

[Gillian]

But you were in Trader Joe's! Even in a nightmare you showed your good taste.

When I worked retail we agreed that some people just walk in the door ready to jump down a clerk's throat because they cannot yell at their spouse or boss or...

It is probably the same with blogging. There will always be that one person who needs to smack you upside the head for breathing.

[a happier girl]

Our library keeps calling us looking for some train book. Apparently they've moved on to recording it as lost and that $5 board book is going to cost me $37 if I ever want to check out another book. Only a library could get away with that. And maybe Blockbuster.

[Penelope]

No reason to apologize - after trying very hard to limit my TV/computer/news viewing to an hour a day, reading your blog is still at the top of my list. Take credit for the laughter and comraderie you bring to all your readers! That's talent.

This weekend the family is going to an art festival and then I'm going to a garden shower (friend bought new home w/ huge yard, needs plants).

[Bunny]

The kids are at the grandparents since last night and I have a few hours alone with my husband. I'm getting a pedicure and we're trying to find someplace that has brunch on a Saturday: apparently no one does.

[Amy H]

I have a question for you: Did your hits drop by like a hundred a day when I started subscribing to you thru bloglines? Now it tells me when you post so I don't check like a complusive stalker anymore. It's better for me.

ANYWAY! I have something ooky going on in my head, too. No fun. It's supposed to rain here and we have the kids this weekend and no plans, so it looks like Target for me and the girl. That's it. And you think YOU have no joy.

However, I just found out that we got one of these magical "Trader Joe" places that everyone in the iWorld shops at, so my mom and I might go check that out. If for no other reason than to know wth everyone else is talking about (Because I would never normally drive an hour to grocery shop).

[Y]

I'm sorry that you have no joy, I really am, but can I tell you that I am crying from laughing so hard at this post?

(Just "cut it out" and quit using us for sympathy!)

Oh Mah God, I love you.

[SIERRA]

Well, it's not like I sit on my ass for 12 hour shifts waiting for a message that you have added a post! I don't! Really. So what if that makes me pathetic, my life is and I'm trying to keep up. I can always count on laughing when I read your posts, they make me laugh. I'm so sorry you had a moment when even Starbucks could't bring you joy, I hope you feel better soon. Now, for this weekend which for me is Sun/Mon, I am doing: dishes, laundry, bathroom, catbox, and general cleaning that the husband didn't do the past 3 DAYS he was OFF!!! I think I'll leave it until he is off again and take the Toad to Starbucks/Target(really, combining these two was sheer genious!) Sometimes I think it's obvious that I don't talk to a live person for 12 straight hours, what do you think?

As we speak, the 2 angels and I are headed to Shrek. Another one. Somebody kill me.

[Jenny]

Do you know what I like about you?

You try. And that inspires me.

[Jessica]

Maybe you should try one day a week instead of one week a month. I hope you feel better soon.

[Boldn'Brazen]

Listen, you spoiled, conceited, attention whore...

all of us here, in the blogosphere. We're all attention whores. Got it? All of us. ALL.of.us. Otherwise, we wouldn't be posting our lives on the interwebs where everyone can read them.

So kwitcher apologizing, both for not posting and for apologizing for not posting. I like you, and anyone who wants to tussle with you has to go through me. Okay?

I took the Brazenette to Universal Orlando. Stayed at the Hard Rock. It was a great time, but I am happy to be home now.

[Melanie]

Oooh, I have to agree that we are all spoiled media whores. Though I have no idea what's new with Paris - did she go to jail yet? I need to go obsessively check all my gossip blogs now. Because I'm a pathetic media whore.

And I totally notice when you don't post, because you are one of my keep me laughing with honesty blogs.

This weekend we had Boyo's 5th birthday party and got 8000 items of pirate paraphernalia, and my siblings got him a Wii, which I plan to sit around playing ALL DAY today, since it's supposed to be so much fun. But it does make our gift look cheesy, since I think we're getting him a $30 snowcone maker or something, since there are only two of us and 6 of them (sibs and boy/girlfriends).
We did give him the gift of life, though, and I'm not too good to use that.

[Liz]

We had our last t-ball game of the season yesterday. Afterwards went to coach's house for a pool/pizza party. Took kids to grandparents afterwards, did nothing since. Might watch a Pirate movie and go shoes shopping later. :)

[amy]

I am cleaning...yes the joy of my life cleaning. ugh...someone put me out of my misery!

[b]

HA HA, you crack me up b/c I get very dramatic like that when I'm depressed.

So before I had the baby I was all like, "I'm not going to watch TV when she gets up at night. I'll pray instead." Who knew that praying would put me to sleep causing the baby to fall off of my nipple and wake me up with a jolting pain in my breast? TV keeps me engaged enough to stay awake til the child sleeps through the night...

[Virenda]

I think once a month sounds like a good plan to me. Plus, to not be joyful about Starbucks IS serious Lena. It is.

Hope you feel better.

[Lori]

I for one have no life so I do live for your blog and miss it when it's gone. :(

[tanyetta]

my humps!!!!!!!! LOL

you're always missed :)