To Every Mom Out There: You Rock

There are few things less upsetting to a parent than holding their child down while a stranger drives needles into their body.

Except maybe that one time we saw the Teletubbies Live on Stage. That was pretty horrifying.

The doctor's appointment went as well as can be expected when your child has had two months to work up a frothy dread.

The doctor asked Savannah some developmental questions. The first of which was, "What do you do when you're hungry?".

Savannah looked at me. She looked back at the doctor, who repeated the question.

Savannah scrunched up her face. "Eat something?" And the way she said it, with such bemusement, was hilarious.

Then, "If a horse is big, a mouse is...?"

Savannah is all "Umm, tiny? Little? Small?". Like 'should I go on? What's your angle, lady?'

There were several other questions that covered things Savannah grasped at age three. So, I was feeling pretty smug about my daughter's big brain and extreme brilliance.

Then, it was That Time.

Armed with every piece of Vaccine information I had time to print out, I went over the immunization options with the doctor. Or rather, *I* went over the immunization options while she said helpful things like "The benefits outweigh the risks" and "Every child is different" and "Wake me when you're done".

I asked her if two nurses could do the shots at the same time and she acted as if I requested they do a tap dance show for me in the waiting room because I was bored. "No...they're busy...with other patients."

So, we waited. And waited.

Can I ask you this? What the hell are the nurses doing out there that is more important than getting their fat butts into our exam room with those damn needles? We must have waited 20 minutes between the time the doctor left and the nurses finally came in. And is that laughter I heard outside our door? And banter?? Wha...?

Anyway, Savannah was trying so hard to be brave. I wish you could have seen her. For two days prior to her shots she made a valiant effort to convince herself that she wasn't scared, even going so far as to pronounce herself "excited" about them. But, alas, when the time came, all she could do was stare a hole through the little container holding the filled syringes while moaning "Idon'twanttoIdon'twanttoIdon'twanto".

I held her tightly on my lap while she winced as each needle went in, then screamed while they injected her. She was trembling and crying. And while inside I WANTED TO DIE I instead automatically tapped into that steely maternal reserve. You know what I'm talking about. The one that has you utterly convinced that you could LIFT A BURNING CAR WITH ONE HAND WHILE FENDING OFF A NINJA WITH THE OTHER SHOULD YOU NEED TO SAVE YOUR CHILD. Yeah, that one.

I whispered in her ear and willed my words to calm her down. Which did not happen. Even after it was all over, I held her and rocked her until the nurse lured us out with Barbie stickers.

Please do not make me talk about the blood draw at the lab.

Let me just put it this way: Savannah's wailing made the grown woman next to us start crying. I am not even kidding. And? The lab techs also made us wait TWENTY MINUTES WHILE SITTING IN FRONT OF VIALS OF BLOOD. ("Mommy??? What are THOSE?!" "Medicine. Look over here! Do you want to be X's or O's this time?")

Then, while I appreciate the phlebotomist's cheerful disposition, it really does little to help while telling a five-year-old "I'm just trying to find your vein!".

I took your suggestions and immediately bought her an ice cream and a baby doll after. Which soothed her greatly, although she remained a bit distracted by the Band-Aids and the promise they held of arm hairs being painfully pulled. I told her she can walk down the aisle wearing those Band-Aids as far as I'm concerned. Because we are doneth with the paineth.

Unless you want to talk about my house still not being sold. Did you? I didn't think so.

So, what are your shot stories? Are your children dramatic at the doctor's? Screamers? Kickers? Or do they silently brace themselves like little soldiers?

Comments

[Amy H]

Ooh, am I first!? Thank you Bloglines!

Ninja Boy (pre-ADHD meds) actually, physically HURT the nurse...and the one who came to fill in her spot. That was my first time taking them to the doctor. *Fun, Fun!!*

Sunshine was great about it the first time I took her. A little wince and she was done. But when Daaaaaddy took her, it HURT and she CRIED and wanted TREATS. I blame him.

Glad it's done with - that's ridiculous that they wouldn't give you two nurses - I can understand 'busy,' but when is a clinic NOT busy and how do so may other people get two???

[Kristin]

My kids are still little, although I still cry everytime because why do *I* have to hold down their arms so they are staring at me wondering why I'm allowing this horrible event. Anyway... my worst experience so far was before I was even a Mom. I was a ful-time volunteer at a children's long-term crisis home in TX. I took a little 2YO in for her shots about a week after I met her. I don't know why but at this clinic they gave you shots IN THE HALLWAY!!! That's right, so I'm sitting there not having a clue as to what I'm doing, the nurse is telling me to hold the porr little girl still and she is SCREAMING SCREAMING SCREAMING! Oh god, the screaming!! And people are walking by. They are just walking by casting their judgemental stares at me and this poor little girl who just wanted her Mommy and got me instead. Horrible, horrible experience. Jeez, that was 10 years ago, and I still remember it like it was last week...

[Amy]

It took 5 trips to 3 different labs before I could get my son's blood drawn to test for allergies. He screamed bloody murder and thrashed and tore my heart out for days before we finally got it done. (He's 4, by the way.) Complete and utter torture.

[Julia]

my oldest was a holy terror in the lab. He had to have a blood draw at five years old to test his cholestrol (!) and while being held down by two nurses he still managed to pull the needle so hard that blood spattered the walls. We almost shut down the clinic with the AIDS FEAR. He is now 21 and we have no idea what his cholestrol level is. we never went back for that test.

[carey]

i guess i'm just really weird. i don't get upset about the shots... neither does my daughter for that matter. she crys when she gets them but as soon as she sees the fun band-aids she starts to calm down. she is always done fussing by the time i finish getting her dressed.
the only time i felt BAD was when she was an infant and had to have an ultra sound of her spine- my husband had to hold her legs and i had to hold her arms and head so she would stay still. i think the being held down part scared her more than anything else.

[Tracy]

I remember those days so clearly... my son is now 19 and 6'4" and he'd probably kill me if I mentioned that he is still TERRIFIED of shots!!! He was in the hospital recently for an abscess in his throat, and I was trying not to laugh when the doctor tried to give him a shot of steroids to take the swelling down... This big, tall, basketball jock: scared of needles. I will say that by the time the whole illness was over, he was much better, and I'm sure he could take it like a man today, but boy, did it take a while to get there.

I'm sorry Savannah had to go through that... it's no fun as a mom either....

[SilvrPanthr]

My 6 year old daughter does pretty well. She'll whimper and fuss a little, but doesn't do too badly at all. My 5 year old son on the other hand.....He's a little macho boy with defined pecs, can do a one handed pushup perfectly, wants to be a sniper in the Army, yeah..He works himself into a tizzy, thrashes around, screams bloody friggin' murder, and is the biggest wimp ever when it comes to getting shots. I feel so bad for the little guy, because obviously in his little mind it's terrifying. But it's so funny too that he can be so tough, yet such a little wuss. He'll get a scratch on himself from riding his bike (it's so small I can't even see it) and it's like his hand got cut off. He's terrible. I sure hope he grows out of it soon. Especially if he decides to get all these tattoos he wants when he gets older. He'll find out as soon as that needle hits him what it feels like!

[Cindy]

I have a screamer, hitter, and puker when I take my son in. My daughter almost faints and cries even at the age of 12. It is so hard being a Mom trying to be there for your kids during fear. Hang in there! :)

[Jessica]

I feel your pain. My son is 4 years old and at his 4 year "well" visit, the Nazi nurse told me that he was due for 6 shots! WHAT? I was like, um.. OK, I was unaware there would even be one today. She did the checkup, and then my son's dr. came in and looked at my son's charts. He said he didn't understand why the nurse wanted to do all 6 when my son could easily wait until next year for four of them. Whew! It was a relief, but I still felt awful that two shots were being done.
My son gets hysterical, turns bright red, screams, cries, says "I want my Mommy", the whole 9 yards. It is awful.
And yes, somewhere inside us mothers, comes the iron clad strength to be brave for our child and ourselves and tell them that it'll be OK.... all the while wanting to stab the nurse with the needle and asking her how she likes being poked with it.

[Terri]

I must be very lucky! I decided not to warn my 4 year old daughter about the shots because I thought she would build it up in her mind and be freaked out before we even walked in the door. So, she didn't know about it beforehand. She was great throughout the whole checkup even after the doc told her about the shots (a total of 3 plus a finger prick to test for lead). I held her close and talked to her the whole time and she didn't even flinch. She said they didn't hurt because she was a big girl! I was way more upset than she was! That was one of my proudest moments as a Mom because let's just say that I was definitely on the screaming temper tantrum throwing side when I was a kid and still have issues with needles!

[LoriB]

My oldest two are good about it, but they are 15 and 12. My son, who is 6, is a lot better about it now. However, when he was 18 months old, he got 3rd degree burns on his hands, so we went to the doctor everyday until they healed. That sort of made him scream every time we went to the doctor for a year or so afterwards, even when it wasn't for his hands. He does really great now, and he is my little trooper boy. Looking at his hands now, you would never know that he had been burned when he was a baby.

[Becki]

Two words: "Thirsty Straws". This is what the nurse at the Peds office called the little needles that did the SURPRISE blood draw on my sweet little 4 year old.
Two weeks later we went to see a new dentist who said to my sweet traumatized four year old "I am just gonna use the thirsty straw in your mouth to take out the spit".
He LEVATATED out of the chair!!
I cried. He got ice cream and a toy after both office visits.

[Marcia]

My little sister just took my one-month old niece for her first shots. Even just thinking about it made me cry.

[B]

K- "OUCH, that hurt! Can I have my lollipop now?" 18 mos

C- *scream! wail! cry! punch! kick! bite!* "NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! MAAAAAAMMMMAAAAA!" *mommy's heart breaking in the background

So far newborn has only had her shots in the hospital nursery. The new pediatrician better let me nurse her while she gets the next round like the last dr did or I'm switching.

[Jenn]

It drives me bonkers that they make the parent hold their child down dor shots! I think that one nurse should hold & the other do the shots so that Mommy is only associated with swooping in when they are done for snuggles. I HATE having to take my little guy for shots! As for blood work ups, I have flat out laughed at the doctor for this suggestion. I bruise very easily, always have, but have no blood diseases or issues. My son bruises easily as well, the Dr. wants to test him for something that has a huge name but is not anything to be concerned about. It 'would just be good to know about.' It requires like 3 or 5 vials of blood. HA! I wouldn't even be able to hold my little guy down, literally, not physically capable. At almost 38" in height and 35lbs., he can kick my a** when he wants to! So needless to say, we'll be holding off on that blood test for quite a while.

[Karen]

I am more of the sneaky needle philosophy. Let's not talk about it. Let's not wave it around. Let's just stick it in and get it done.

Oh, my gosh! It sounds like I'm talking about sex.

[Heather]

My kids have all reacted differently to shots. From "Oh, God, I'm going to die!" to "What was that? Was that supposed to hurt?" And the same kid has reacted differently at different times.

So, I also just wandered over here to tell you that I've included you in a list of blogs that make me think.

[Roxanne]

I have cried at every single shot my dd has received. The last one she received, she was so brave. She shut her eyes closed and when it was over "not bad mommy. why are you crying?"

The worst was when she was 2 months old and they had to draw blood. Another mom put her arm around me and allowed me to cry while my baby was wailing her little head off.

[MsMay]

Boy I think you sould find a new doctor!! Our doctor's office is great. There are 2 nurses plus the doctor and a receptionist. Both nurses and the doctor come in for shots. The doctor holds their legs down and the nurses give the shots at the same time. Then mommy is there to give comfort and love when it is all over. I can't believe your doctor acted like that. When my first born was a baby, I begged my mom to take him for his shots. She told me no, that I needed to be the one to comfort him when it was all over. It's still hard but I try to remember that. Sorry you had such a hard time!

[Jay]

When I was six I had to be sat on by a large black woman to keep me still enough for the shots. Then my brother called me a crybaby and punched me in the arm. Me thinks I've spoken of this tale before...

Here in France, there don't seem to be that many shots needed at age 5 or thereabouts. Which is a GOOD THING given that my 5-yr-old screamed, wailed, kicked, writhed and (ultimately) sulked just through a regular check-up. I'm dreading the 6th birthday visit (somewhere around Christmas time. Perfect) because - oh, give me strength! - she'll need at least one shot.
As for my 3-yr-old, so far she's more compliant than her big sister, but then Carla was pretty compliant when she was 3. It's only now that she's turned into a whirling dervish.
Can someone please tell me this all gets better?

[jenny]

So, vodka isn't allowed in the exam room? Bummer.

[Karen]

My 5-year-old whimpers a little bit, and after a hug from me, he's fine. Because he knows that next, there are free stickers.

[Mayhem]

I gave my son one of his immunizations myself. There were not two nurses available at the time, and I wanted it done as fast as possible. He won't remember-- he was only four months old. Now at two years old he's quite tough about shots. His eyes fill with tears and then it's over and he wants a sticker.

My other son is quiet and big eyed before the shot, and then moderately weepy for several hours after.

Immunizations are never fun. I still have to grit my teeth a little when I need shots, and I'm a grown-up who understands the whole risk/benefit thing!

What does Savannah say about the experience now that it's over and she's (mostly?) recovered?

[Amy H]

Hey, you're speaking at BlogHer? What on?