Would you believe me if I told you that I still haven't talked to my neighbor since this happened?
Sure, she's sent her kids over with cookies once or twice. But, not a phone call or a visit since her daughter essentially ripped a hole in my little girl's heart and tried to fill it with baked goods. The cookies may have helped Savannah get over it, but not me.
Don't get me wrong. I'm not holding a grudge - which was proven by my eating of many homemade cookies - I just have no tolerance for Mean Girls.
You think that once you're out of school, the days of two-faced gossipy girls are over. But, then you realize you're wrong. They're just beginning. Because the mean girls don't disappear after graduation. They just go on to get a job in your office or move in next door to you, and spread their meanness in a whole new arena.
I was at the coffee shop the other night trying to write and when I got up to refill my iced tea I noticed that my neighbor's best friend, Kelly, was standing at the iced tea dispenser with another friend. She caught sight of me at the same moment I caught sight of her and rather than smiling or waving or my favorite, pretending to not see me at all, Kelly immediately turned her back to me to face her friend and started talking.
And her friend looked over her shoulder directly at me and nodded "Ah". As in, "Ah, that's her". Her what? The Her that overreacted? The Her that's too sensitive? The Her that we Googled and she's talking about us on The InTeRnEt? (Oops!)
Oh, I felt so warm and fuzzy inside. Just like I was back in gym class and Leticia was pointing out how I had hairier legs than the boys! And Double D's! Oh, the good times I had then. Instead of Lena Lotsey, let's call her Lotsa Lena! Oh, how we all laughed.
I've written before about losing friendships and adjusting friendships as I get older. The thing that surprised me most when I started blogging is how many women felt just like me - like they had acquaintances without having any close friends. The older I get and the deeper into marriage and family and suburbia I am, the more convinced I am that just one close friend can be the key to happiness.
It took me three lonely years of boring play dates and awkward coffee meet ups and talking to my plants (BFF= Best Fern Forever!) before I found someone I clicked with. Someone who could finish my sentences and who cried when I cried and laughed when I laughed and bitched when I bitched.
Someone who, like me, would sometimes forget to feed her kids lunch until 2:00. Someone who would answer the phone "Is this really my life?" when I would call. Someone who had impassioned opinions on politics and Paris Hilton and religion and skinny jeans in the same conversation. Someone who sometimes wanted to carry her kids around in her pocket they were so adorable, and other times wanted to get them their own apartment.
Someone who, when I called her from the coffee shop parking lot the other night and said "My neighbor's best friend just blatantly snubbed me", would say "Well, that's because she's an asshat and has that weird mole. Want to take the kids to the park?".
Sometimes just one close friend stands between you and insanity.
So, how do you do it? How do you make new close friends as an adult? Where do you find your allies?
Ha! Don't you love how I'm all "I'll talk about this post tomorrow!" And then it's all five days later and I'm so not even talking about it? I am writing about it though and I promise this week we shall share ideas of what to do with these bored children all summer that doesn't include eleventeen hours of TV. Maybe just tenteen.