What, You're Too Good To Come In Through The Window?

Oh for the love of Christmas.

Can't we ever leave well enough alone?

Our house hasn't been listed 72 hours when Chris and I get the bright idea to repaint the front door.

(It's killing me to not be able to tell you that it was his idea, and not mine, and as a matter of fact I said we should just leave the damn door alone. But, I won't say that. Because we're a TEAM and I SUPPORT him. See? How I'm not even mentioning it? That I said we shouldn't paint the door?)

We have people coming tomorrow morning at 9:00 am to look at the house. And probably the front door.

So, in case you too are ever tempted to repaint your metal front door, here are the steps to achieve optimal results:

BEFORE

1) Tell your wife that you wiped down the door, even though she secretly thinks you didn't really.

2) Sand lightly in some spots while inexplicably leaving others glossy.

3) Apply paint with sponge-type thing that is designed for painting floors.

4) Panic a little when paint starts to coagulate on sanded areas.

5) Panic alot when paint starts to dry and ball up.

6) Have wife run back to Home Depot and purchase set of paintbrushes.

7) Have wife start painting door with brushes.

8) Watch wife use profanity usually reserved for Half-Off Martini Night.

9) Send wife back to Home Depot for paint stripper, a scraper, and more spongie paint things. Appear not amused at all when wife yells from open car window "I'm not coming back!" as she pulls away.

10) Pour acid stripper all over door. Attempt to scrape new paint off. Act really really surprised when all paint ever to touch door is removed and raw metal is exposed.

11) Watch wife cry on couch. Say something helpful like "Well, I know one thing we're doing. Buying  a new goddamn door." Best said wild-eyed and pacing while holding a sander.

AFTER

Click to fully appreciate our dumbassery.

12) Drink a beer while wife goes to get hug from Internet and shop for really really really big wreaths. Where she also discovers there's more to the world wide web then blogs. There are sites like this.

Huh.

13) See wife appear in kitchen with all the answers.

14) to be continued....

Can this front door be saved? Will it be done before tomorrow morning's showing? Is it really raining right now?

Will Dominique wake from her coma and marry Slater even though he has amnesia?

Tune in tomorrow to find out.

Comments

[Jennifer]

You've been spying on me haven't you? This happens all the time at my house.

And dumbassery, seriously, now THAT'S a word that I can't wait to work into a conversation. Thank you.

[mamatulip]

I'm laughing, with you, of course, and breathing a sigh of relief that you published a post like this. Because girl, this is *so* something that Dave and I would do.

Promise. ;)

[Amy H]

In my experience, it never works out when you want to paint your door...it seems so simple...

At least you can take comfort in knowing it wasn't your fault.

[Bunny]

I soo feel your pain. If you just paint over it with no prep, it will look nice for the morning showing...but don't touch the door, the new paint will then peel right off since the door wasn't sanded! I happen to know from experience.

[JenniferB]

Oh, such a lovely, literary, cautionary tale. ;) I'll just pretend that I don't have any half done (mostly badly, the half part that is done) projects around my so-called "house". Er, "home". Whatever, the place I force my hubby and children to eat, sleep and worship me.

[JenniferB]

Oh, such a lovely, literary, cautionary tale. ;) I'll just pretend that I don't have any half done (mostly badly, the half part that is done) projects around my so-called "house". Er, "home". Whatever, the place I force my hubby and children to eat and sleep, and occasionally worship me.

[Linsey]

I am dying. Literally, laughing my whole fat ass right off. That is hilarious, mainly because it isn't my front door and stuff. This is something Ryan and I would do.

[Linsey]

Oh, plus I am really sorry that it happened... And I am sort of laughing with you right? Someday?

[Virenda]

Oh my! Your door was beautiful before and after reading the how to site, I'm going to say it's looking good today. I really, really hope I'm right.

You know I had some fond memories of that blue door....

('At least it's not your fault' is by far the best sentence ever. Yeah for Lena...)

[Amy]

I love how in the "how to" the author says that most people just want to splash a little paint on but that the key is surface prep. Hmmmm. Did you mention that to your team mate?

[Pattie]

Sounds like something that might happen at my house :)

Still laughing at the "I'm not coming back" comment!

[Pattie]

Sounds like something that might happen at my house :)

Still laughing at the "I'm not coming back" comment!

[Lena]

Vi - The door was black.

Soooo, I think a repainting was in order.