Let's Just Say I'm Sick and Leave It At That

I once read a blog where the author asked her readers how often they have sex. All the women came out of the woodwork (what does that phrase mean anyway? I imagine people bursting out of walls and doorframes). Anyway, I swear she had over 100 comments of women pouring their hearts out divulging the intimate and sometimes embarrassing aspects of their sex lives. Almost everyone claimed the same average frequency: once or twice a week. Then the author returned the next day and said something like "Oh my. I had no idea. We do it twice a day every day.".

I remember feeling irritated with her, as if she had drawn everyone out knowing full well that she was going to trump them.

I feel a little like that right now. Except the opposite. Because I knew what I've been doing to our financial situation could not possibly be the norm, but I just had to know for sure.

Because: $3,000.00.

Three THOUSAND dollars.

That is what I've been spending (what we've been spending - Chris does go to McDonalds once a week and one time even purchased printer toner without my knowledge. the luxuries I put up with from that man, I swear) every month on inessentials.

From your comments I suggest you 1) Print out the last three month's bank statements and 2) put a tick mark next to everything you could have done without. Because if you had asked me a week ago what I blow every month I would have guessed $500. Again for emphasis: Three Thousand Dollars. *gag*

Let's break down mine, shall we? Here are some excerpts from November's statement:

(Click to see full carnage)

This is THREE WEEKS.

And irony of all ironies! I'm now paying $9 every month to myfooddiary so that I can DOCUMENT all the FOOD and COFFEE I've been shoving down my fat piehole!

Chris died a little when he realized that if I went back to work for FREE we would make $3,000 more a month because my mere absence from this house would save as much as my full time salary would bring in.

Sobering, no?

And the saddest part is we are totally nickel and diming ourselves to death! I do not have a closet full of designer clothes. I shop for discounts and sales. All of this time I could have been buying Manolos! Or 300 pairs of panties for Britney Spears! Instead I'm buying coffee and turkey dogs. TURKEY DOGS! (I do it for the PIGS! Think of the piiiiiiigs!)

The good news of course is that we do have disposable income. Which can easily become investment income. Or "Make a Damn Sandwich at Home Once In a While" Income. So, as Chris said we're "Going Commando" (he's so cute when he's angry - he wore fatigues today and everything). We're making over my mad spending skillz.

Last night we bought the Total Money Makeover (yes! we went and bought another book! see how quickly we learn?) and already it's blowing me away. (So it's actually possible to live a life with CASH? And no DEBT? Huh. And what is this you claim about the SUN warming the EARTH?)

I can't believe I've been doing this. I'm still in shock. TURKEY DOGS???

Comments

[kris]

OMG. Wait one second.

Since when do 1) people not jump out of the crown moulding and 2) turkey dogs not qualify as essentials?!?!?

Sobering news and an awesome post. I'm afraid to look at my bank statements now.

[Y]

Dude.

We only make (haha, "we") slightly more than that an in entire month, so at first I was like OMGHOLYSHITHELLNOTHATSCERAAAAZY. But, then I realized it's all relative.

But you've really inspired me to stop being a big pussy (I HATE THAT WORD) about it and look at our bank statements and see what exactly we waste every month.

Thank you for that, woman. ;-)

[Naomi]

I dont think I could spend that much money in a month on needless purchases if I tried. Hell, Im a single mom, and would DIE flat out if that was my statement. Im LUCKY if I manage to take home over a grand a month. Wow.

[Karen]

I do think it must have to do with where you live and what your income vs. expenses are. We only have one income, but we do okay (meaning, we get by without losing too much sleep), and we couldn't spend $3,000 on non-essentials. We just wouldn't even be able to pay the bills. HOWEVER...around these parts, if I found out we were spending over $1,000 a month on non-essentials, I'd flip. (That's not to say I would not be surprised. But I am not as brave as you to confront the demon!!!!)

[jen fromboston]

I've been kinda putting this off, so thanks for the gentle $3,000 reminder that we could all benefit from taking a gander at ye olde bank statements. I am a little afraid, that I know.

I will say I am now credit card debt free which always evokes the song that goes, "BORN freeee, free as the wind blooooows.." and that has been for about a year now. everything is on the debit card. I do need to stay the f*ck away from Ann Taylor and her kid sister The Loft which is next to work. Oh, and I figure skipping lunch altoghter will save a few (bucks and lbs, heh).

[jen fromboston]

I also remember the sex every day question and I remember being floored. OT, but how did she figure everyday or close to it was "the norm" and had "no idea" it wasn't. Boggles. the. mind.

[Dad Gone Mad]

I think I live near you.

[Izzy]

Cash?

CASH????

What the hell is this "cash" you speak of?

[Kat]

Living where I do, I spend over half my take-home pay on rent. If I made the same amount of money and lived elsewhere, I would be comfortable. Or, I'd still be spending beyond my means.

I've made a promise to myself to get my finances in order in the new year. Good for you, Lena--you're taking steps in the right direction. (The first step is admitting you have a problem.)

[SilkOne]

My eyes! My eyes! They're bleeding!!! Just like they bleed every month when I look at my own bank statements.

I finally took the reins from my husband (again) after $6K "disappeared" from our checking account in a blaze of Starbucks. And we are not rich by any stretch of the imagination -- I'm a graduate student and he's an IT professional.

I'm doing the same thing -- submitting our finances to close scrutiny. It is hard, and it's nice to know that I have a Sister in the Struggle to Control (in)Discretionary Spending!

Great post!