You know you're a grown-up when you're sauteeing onions at 9:00 in the morning so that you can get a "head start on dinner". Impressive, I know. At this rate I'll be in bed again by noon. Score!
In honor of my totally awesome simmer-all-day spaghetti, I present a rousing round of Monday Confessional Tuesday Style (We're getting closer every week to actually doing this on Monday, my friends).
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The most embarrassing run-in with an ex-boyfriend was when I was...
a) eight months pregnant and he was with his new girlfriend?
b) sporting wet hair, no makeup and on my way to the ICU to visit a dying relative?
c) covered in blood?
d) throwing up in the bushes?
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Sadly, I think you know where this is going. They've all happened.
And I think we can all safely assume that each and every one of them walked away and breathed a sigh of relief, "Whew. Dodged that bullet.".
I have the worst luck when it comes to running into an ex. Not that I had the best luck before they were exes either. The times I have on my skinny jeans and am tan and toned and nary a Dorito has passed these lips, it's just me and the nice clerks at the grocery store. But, put me in sweats with dirty hair, a crying toddler, and some sort of rash on my face and send me to Wal-Mart for tampons and PEOPLE COME OUT OF THE WOODWORK.
Old bosses, old co-workers ("Well, I see that you've really gotten into the whole stay at home thing (chuckle)".) old friends, old boyfriends, or worse: Old boyfriends' NEW GIRLFRIENDS. Old boyfriends' new girlfriends who are TRAINERS. Who eye you knowingly thinking, "So, this is where his baggage comes from. This must be why he struggles with carbs."
So, which horror story do you want to hear about? A,B,C, or D? I'm only posting one. I don't think my in-laws could take much more.
Letter D. Definitely.
Posted by: Heather B. | 09/12/2006 at 04:37 PM
Oh lord, the choices... I can't decide between c or d...
Posted by: Teri M. | 09/12/2006 at 05:39 PM
Oh I just can't pick one!
And isn't that always the way? I hate running into someone I haven't seen in awhile (ex, high school friend, college friend, etc) when I am looking awful.
Posted by: Michelle | 09/12/2006 at 05:47 PM
Both "covered in blood" and "throwing up in the bushes" sound like excellent stories.
And since this interactive and all, here's my story:
Working as a waitress (and sucking at it) and having to serve your (evil) ex and his new girlfriend in an empty restaurant. And NOT HAVING A COMEBACK for his insipid comments. *sigh*
Posted by: Sonja | 09/12/2006 at 07:12 PM
a!
Posted by: Lauren | 09/12/2006 at 09:50 PM
I vote for D. I don't drink at all and I always always run in to people from church (where I haven't been in a while) when I'm carrying a twelve pack of beer for the men in my family that will be watching whatever game that is coming on. I'm always so embarrassed.
Posted by: Lena R./ Asiajadamommy | 09/12/2006 at 10:41 PM
Um, Duh!! ALL of them....please?!?! PLeeeeeeeese?!?!?
Oh yeah...it's "A Sisterhood" didn't you know? Yup - and you're in baby....we all are members and if you didn't get your free t-shirt and shot glass in the mail yet, let me know and I'll get on the horn and light a fire under someone....I KNOW you already know the uber-cool secret handshake so that's no biggie. :)
Posted by: Teresa M. | 09/12/2006 at 11:25 PM
LOL.
Um...I think D, but only because I know the other two, although the pregnant one runs a clsoe second. Considering I've been pregnant a lot that was constantly one of my fears.
Posted by: Virenda | 09/13/2006 at 12:09 AM
Three weeks after delivering my first child who weighed 7lbs 9oz, and very concerned about the 50lbs I had packed on, my husband took me on our first date as parents. Half way through dinner I notice MAJOR leakage, when suddenly the EX comes to my table to say hello with his pin-up girlfriend. I just cried right then and there while my husband mumbled that I was sad that we'd left our newborn with his mother....I still cringe 3 years later.
Posted by: Barbara | 09/13/2006 at 07:15 AM
This is tricky -- which one will yield the most sympathy or guffaws? I vote eight months pregnant. Been there!
Running into exs? Giiiiirl, let me tell ya, the guys I dated were so nightmarish that just the mere sight of one of them gives me a panic attack. My biggest fear is that I've run into them because they're out on parole and stalking me.
Posted by: mj | 09/13/2006 at 07:43 AM
I vote for c. And I hope it's not gruesome, but the curiosity is killing me.
I have been lucky not to run into any ex-boyfriends. Not sure how I have managed to avoid it, but I hope if it happens they are looking worse than I do. ;>)
Posted by: Kim | 09/13/2006 at 07:50 AM
C. I need to hear about C. Sick, I know.
Posted by: Janet | 09/13/2006 at 08:44 AM
D!!!
Posted by: Karen | 09/13/2006 at 09:31 AM
Definately d. Throwing up in the bushes always makes for a good story.
Posted by: Rachel | 09/13/2006 at 11:44 AM
I think the amount of embarrassing encounters is proportional to the number of ex-boyfriends you have out there.
Oh, and C. Definitely C.
Posted by: Jay | 09/13/2006 at 12:39 PM
definitely a toss up between c and d - both sound guaranteed to make your readers laugh! With you, not at you, of course.
Posted by: Katherine | 09/13/2006 at 01:07 PM
C- because I have no clue why you would be covered in blood. I am guessing D is a pretty good story, but most likely it is due to the flu or alcohol.
Posted by: dcfullest | 09/13/2006 at 01:19 PM
m756k
Posted by: ro737ck | 06/23/2007 at 12:51 PM