Cherish

I ate sand yesterday. And I liked it.

After patiently waiting for me to finish blogging at the "puter", Savannah and I set off for the park. She had spent the last few hours collecting items to bring with us and with four dolls between us, a stroller, and about twelve hundred toys and purses, we looked like a couple of gypsies struggling down the sidewalk with our booty.

The path to the park takes us past an elementary school and as luck would have it, we were traveling by at exactly 3:00. A sea of SUV's were lined up along both sides of the street and the entire block was crawling with hundreds of kids. Boys with baggy jeans and baseball caps crossed in front of us, tossing footballs to each other and calling out to the girls. Ponytailed girls in their makeup and low waisted jeans and padded bras giggled and talked together, pretending to ignore them.

I looked around as we approached and thought "Oh no. She's going to be embarrassed. She's going to feel silly with all these toys. She's going to want to be a big kid and walk ahead of me and I'm going to end up carrying all this crap."

But, I was wrong.

Savannah and I advanced through the crowd, her head held up proudly as she pushed her baby stroller with her Cabbage Patch inside. She never stopped babbling to me or tending to her baby doll. She was never self-conscious or embarrassed. She was proud to be walking with her mommy and her dolls.

When we reached the park across the street, it was overrun with the recently dismissed kids. Boys swung aggressively on the swings, girls sat atop the slides in groups talking on their cell phones and calling out to each other.

Savannah, half their size, pushed her little stroller right through them, found an empty spot and began unloading her things. She set up her dolls on the ground, laid out cups and plates in the sand, completely oblivious to all the "coolness" going on around her.

I could not have been more touched. My darling little girl. So sure of herself. So confident in her play. Never questioning her desires or comparing herself to the other kids. Just simply being. I know it will not always be this way. I know that once she starts school and they get their hands on her, her self confidence will be tested.

I know she will look in the mirror at the "fat thighs" she had never noticed until someone pointed them out.

I know she will blame herself when the girls she thought liked her suddenly turn on her.

I know she'll cry over what people say.

I know she'll feel desperate for that boy to return her affections.

I know she'll want the same clothes, the same music, the same hair, the same body.

Same. Same. Same. I know its coming. But, its not here yet.

So, when she said "Mom, would you like a sand sandwich? They're my specialty" I said absolutely.

Comments

[Michelle]

Beautiful...just a beautifully written episode in your little girl's life. I'll bet your fun outing will be a lasting memory for her. Good for you...keeping it simple and just PLAYING together and enjoying the fresh air. It really can be that easy and that wonderful. Life is beautiful!!

[Marcia]

Savannah knew herself more than all those school kids did. You're doing a fabulous job!

[Amanda]

Awwww...what a beautiful story. Go Savannah!!! Keep your head held high, and don't let others bother you at all.

[Darth Softball Slut Putas]

Sounds like she is on the right track now though and good for her, and obviously her momma raised her right.

[Stefanie]

I love it! I hope my Elby is like that too. Strangely, I actually get intimidated by kids getting out of school. Like the old self conscious high schooler in me comes out and gets nervous that people are talking about me. And I'm 40!

[Chris]

*sniff*

[Jenn mattern]

Oh, I loved this. I need some of her moxie. Cool kids still freak me out and make me hyperventilate.

Such a lovely post.

[Jenny]

Sniffle.

I love this post.

[Melissa]

So cute. God I wish they could all keep the innocence they have at four. At least for a while.

[mamatulip]

I love the image of her with all of her 'booty', and her making you a sand sandwich. So sweet.

[mindy]

i love that story!! i remember a time when i didn't care. life was so much easier then huh???
good for her!

[becky]

awww. i love it when they say cute things like that. "specialty" lol. too cute

[Katherine]

That is so fabulous! What a great job you are doing raising such a confident, beautiful child.

[Lena]

I know - I think the thing that touched me most is that the kids were making ME nervous. Yay! My daughter is already more socially adaptable than I am.

[Crystal]

aw, see? this is why i can't have kids. because kids grow up and get picked on or shoved. because i would be like rebecca de mornay in hand that rocks the cradle and want to throw down with each little bully.

i don't think i am responsible enough to love another human being so thouroughly.

[Karen]

What a sweet story.

My 4-year-old son is already coming home from preschool saying things like, "Dana didn't want me to sit next to her today. I don't know why she said that. It hurt my feelings." And you KNOW if Dana had been within arm's reach I would've wrung her little neck.

[Suburban Turmoil]

Great post, Lena. :)

[Lydia]

Awwww, BLESS her little heart. You know, you can always homeschool her, and avoid those moments a little longer. *evil homeschooling cackle*

[Caryn]

Beautiful post.

[debbie novak]

IM NEW DONT HAVE A COMMENT EXCEPT FALL CLEANING TODAY WAS TIRESOME WITH A THREE YEAR OLD THOUGHT 2S WERE BAD THE HELP WAS REAL HELPFUL

[skeet]

Ah, I love this. I need a little one is my life who appreciates fine things like sand sandwiches. Thanks for sharing Savannah's sweetness. Made my day!

Visiting for the Carnival of Family Life.

[kailani]

What a great post. I dread the day that my daughter gets too old to be hanging out with Mommy. I try to cherish every single day.

Here from the Carnival of Family Life.

[Holly Schwendiman]

What a beautiful post. It's tough to have them grow and all the more precious to enjoy them while they're young!

Hugs,
Holly
Holly's Corner
Here via the Carnival of Family Life. ;)